Has your mother ever said to you “don’t say it if you don’t mean it?” Well, I’ll go one better:  Don’t PRAY it if you don’t mean it. Let me explain…

One of my favorite new songs by Toby Mac is entitled “Steal My Show.” Every time this song comes on, I turn the sound the whole way up, close my eyes and sing at the top of my lungs with my face lifted to Heaven. (When I’m not driving, that is!)

The chorus of the song especially resonates with me: “If You wanna steal my show, I’ll sit back and watch You go. If You got somethin’ to say, go on and take it away. Need You to steal my show, can’t wait to watch You go.” I really mean that part — I really do wanna watch Him go!

Then the bridge continues…”My life, My friends, My heart, It’s all Yours, God.” Sounds good so far… “Yep, Take it away, My dreams, My fears, My family, My career. Take it away. Take it away. It’s all Yours, God. Take it away. Take it away.”

So it gave me pause this morning when that song came on again.  I turned it up as usual, and since I was home alone at the time, I sang at the top of my lungs…until I got to the bridge. “Take it away?” Oops, did I really say that? I guess I really didn’t mean that part, ’cause when He took my mobility, I wasn’t very happy. “It’s You I wanna live for, So take it away.” It’s all fun and games until somebody gets hurt – in this case me!  I want all of the good things God has to give, but I don’t want Him taking anything (or anyone) away.

And yet, one of my favorite Bible verses says “The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.” (Job 1:21 RSV) And a worship song I loves echoes this verse:  “He gives and takes away, He gives and takes away, My heart will choose to say, Lord, Blessed be your name.” But, in truth, do I mean that when I sing it?

The reality is that I do mean it for the things that have happened in the past. I can look back now on the hardest parts of my life (losing my brother at 23, for example) and realize that God had a better plan, that He knows what’s best. And I’m trusting God for the future — I KNOW His plans are better than mine! But in the present, well, that’s more difficult.

“God is good, all the time!” In Christian circles, that is our mantra. But sometimes it doesn’t SEEM like God is treating us very nicely and we question His goodness. Don’t worry — He doesn’t mind. He doesn’t want zombie followers, He wants followers who love Him with everything they have.

Which brings us back to Him stealing my show. I told Him to, and He did it! I can pout all day or I can ask what He wants from me during this time of forced inactivity.  And He has told me! He has given confirmation through at least 3 others in my inner circle that He wants me to use this time to write. Write! Something I always long for time to do, but never have or take the time for…

So, what is it He wants to tell you? What gift has He given you that you aren’t using? What show of yours does He want to steal? The beauty of God’s economy is that when He takes something from us, it’s for our own good. And in the end, He gives us so much more than we could ever ask or imagine! (Yes, that’s a paraphrase of another Bible verse.)

So, it’s time. Time for me to use the gift that God has given me and simply write…for Him!

Have you ever heard the saying “Life is what happens while you’re making other plans?” Well about ten days ago, I was all ready to write a new blog about my recent travels. I had come to the conclusion that traveling gives a renewed perspective on the concept of home, and I was excited to expound upon that. And then life intervened…

While hosting a dessert and fireworks evening for our family, we had an unexpectedly abrupt end to the festivities. A fall out the front door of our home brought my first ambulance ride to a local ER, and concluded the next day with surgery to repair two broken bones in my lower right leg. I am now at the mercy of my caregivers.

To say that I’m struggling with this situation would be putting it mildly. Everyone has been wonderful, and they are doing a great job taking care of me. The problem is I don’t WANT to need help with every little detail of my life! Those who know me well know how independent I am. “I can do it myself” was probably the most oft repeated phrase of my childhood. And inwardly I still feel the same as an adult.

So what is God trying to show me in this situation?

Perhaps, first and foremost, is that I need to slow down. Not that I have a choice right now, but I can admit that most days my life is just a contest to see if I can keep all of the plates spinning in mid-air without dropping any. To say they all came tumbling down last Sunday night would not be an exaggeration.

As I sit here chafing against the necessity to rest and allow my body to knit itself back together, my mind is in turmoil. I’m a “take charge” kind of person, and having to wait for others to do what I can’t is excruciating. So I guess patience would be another one of the things God is trying to help me with…

And let’s not forget humility. Perhaps the most difficult part of this entire situation for me is being helpless. As I shared with a friend last evening, I don’t do “helpless” well. I like to be the helpER and I am not used to needing help. Is this a pride issue? I never thought so before now, but I’m having to readjust my thinking about a lot of things lately. The Bible says that “Pride goeth before the fall.” I  just didn’t realize the “fall” could be literal – ugh.

Finally, my mantra of “Home Sweet Home” has turned into something altogether different now that I can’t leave! The conclusion of my unwritten blog last week was that home is not a specific address, but rather it is being with those we love. I would now add that the address we call home can become confining when we are stuck there!

As always, perspective is everything. All of this will be but a memory in a few months, and I hope that when I look back on these days of confinement that I will have taken the time to rest and pray, read and write…and not just whine.